feelings…

How does everyone like the new design? Holy frejoles peeps…. leave a comment below. It’s funny (no funny ha-ha, but weird-funny) how emotions inside me are so turbulent. There are days, especially when I am driving somewhere, when I feel like there is a huge hole in my chest. It’s an empty feeling and it’s like I am moving through life like a ship without sails.

Last night my instructor showed a portion of a movie where a bunch of people were being killed by some monster thing… these are the kinds of movies I do not watch… and it just left me feeling really really sad. I mean, I just don;t get this stuff.

But my emotions are something that get away from me a little here and there, but they are still mine and I can still bring myself out of the fog when I need to.

As much in the muck as I was for a while last night, I went to pick Deb up from the air port with a smile and a lighter heart. So, obviously I am still in some control. I plan on seeing a therapist as soon as I can get one into my schedule. Maybe I’ll have benifits when I start this job on Thursday? But the last 6 months have really beaten me into a new/different outlook.

By the end of October, I was in such a bad emotional place that I was very near the point… well… let’s say life (as it were) was starting to look very … [I can’t seem to find the words to say what I want to say]

Heavy-Sigh… Have I depressed the fuck out of you yet? Are there any readers left?

Let’s talk about Dating in this town? Let’s talk about Adolfo? argh… nah.

Prayers to you all… ciao babies

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