Uriels Journal

if you give a shit

if you give a shit

for anyone reading this parade of horsecrap that is my life, there are some updates on have been commenting on. Namely John – David – Mark…

JOHN: has been back hanging around from time to time. I suppose he had to explore this german douche he was kicking it with and see if they could make something of it. I just do not know I could erase people I care about so easily so I could explore a guy. “Bro’s before Ho’s” is still true in my mind, at lest until the Ho turns out to be someone that stays around. Right? I mean – if I dated someone and they became #1 it would have been after a long time of dating and trust.

DAVID: had a going away gathering last Saturday. We talked one day (previously noted) and cleared the air on stuff. So I think we are cool. As time passed, we got to be cooler and all. He’s off to explore more of his life and he seems happy about it. Glad for him. I think we might have been better freinds at some point but… who knows what the future holds. He is off to Canada and will be volunteering at the Olympics… his big dream. yey.

MARK: ugh, who cares. He is leaving for SFO next week.

So, whatever I feel about people who are my friends it is that anyone who is a friend… emphasis on the word so it sounds hard and solid… is that they are the earth moon and sun to me. I have people I consider really on this level, but almost all of them are not here in Las Vegas. I guess distance DOES make the heart grow fonder. One does not deserve this status, but we’ve been freinds a long ass time.

level 2 freinds are almost as important. I want someone I can count on and who knows they can count on me. In vegas, this is a foreign animal. BUT, odly enough, on some levels many burners are right here. My mom might think I have lost my mind with hanging out with this crowd, but most of these people are pretty bitchin.

level 3 is getting more vague. Basically I do not trust people readily. I have literally been screwed over by 95% of the people I have known in my life in one way or another. It tends to jade a person. I try my best to tunr off my expectations on people, but when you make it into level 1 or level 2 of freindship with me it’s precious. BUT, people still will screw you hard and not in a good way.

I’ve screwed up enough on my own to prove it. Yeah… yeah.

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