thoughtless swill

So, if you go scrolling back I have been doing more whining and kvetching about some of my recent relationships (not dating relationships but people I have friendships with). More directly, John – David – Mark. Well, the details of Mark are so far under the bridge it is completely lost now. Then John showed up here on Sunday and hung out. As he came through the door I told him he was a douche and why I thought so, but it was like talking to a wall. Then yesterday, I dropped by David’s house and asked him wtf???

Well, David had some valid issues with me. There were some misunderstandings and we cleared the air on some stuff – so who the F knows what will come of it all.

So, I am stuck in some new space. On one hand I really feel like I have no friends here; like a Tonto to my Lone-Rangernousness. I really enjoy my burners, but I feel like they are more family then anything else. I also have noticed that no matter how close I thought I was to some of them I am still outside of arms length.

One person – I thought we were becoming friends – only to find out only I felt that way. Which was a bummer.

I have began establishing my goals for the new year starting this month and I am already seeing results on all fronts. It feels good, because there is nothing to stop me from succeeding.

1. Lose 50#’s over the next 6 months
2. Get into a relationship with someone right
3. Find my career path

Simple stuff, Mary! At least I hope so while I figure out my next major step. I am getting some mixed messages from the universe and coldly Fate is not giving me a clear destiny. I hate living here. I have life here. I make money here and I have a good thing with the burners. I put all that on a scale and got nut’in’.

Going to bed now…